Easy on the Weezy

It’s a really awesome, but truly almighty coincidence that I’m featuring two funny Molly’s in a row. What’s special though is that this week’s Molly is a REAL comedian! I kid you not! Molly Guy might have been funny on paper – and I applaud every single word I read – but Molly Austin is funny on stage, on Youtube, on Alice & Olivia’s blog, in her e-mails, texts, when we have lunch at Mudd Cafe and when she shows me around her teeny St. Marks Place apartment. She even dresses funny sometimes! Have you seen the Emotistyle videos she produces with her partner Shamikah Martinez? “Combining feelings, fashion, and funnies, the girls take a letter from an advice seeking audience member and style them an outfit to match their emotions, giving them their own personal emotistyle.” There’s outfits to “lip synch and bust super-sweet dance moves all over the place” or “things easy and breezy on the weezy”. I suggest sending one such letter….

Molly always knew she wanted to be a comedian. There was no question about it. It had to be done. “Since I was a little girl I was a total ham and constantly bossing adults around to attend my one-woman shows,” she says in her dry voice. “Mostly my one-woman shows were Disney movies in which I played every character and added some commentary. We have videos – they’re horrific.” Somewhere along the way she studied fashion but eventually she ended up taking improv classes at the People’s Improv Theater and the Upright Citizens Brigade and became “one of the boys” at the comedy clubs. “It’s hard being around those boys without falling in love,” she tells me, rather shyly. “Funny men are so charming… Luckily they treat me like their little sister.” So are they all overweight, boozing drug-addicts? “I know a lot more guys on Wall Street with nasty coke habits and rape tendencies than I do comedians!” she retorts. “I just try and surround myself with people I like, people I think are good and honest and work hard. I’m sure other comics think I’m lame. I always have to get home…”

On Stage Molly likes to talk about “being a woman in a man’s world. Particularly a strong-willed, yet weak-muscled woman with stickly limbs and sweet, sweet bangs.” She wears understated, basic clothes when she performs, “usually grey and black, nice but nothing too distracting and almost always Chuck Taylors in case I need to bust a move, because when you are a dancer at heart with weak ankles it’s nice to have that option.” Off stage she’s a total vintage fiend. “There are three places I go to find things that brings all the boys to the yard: 1. Bobby’s from Boston in Boston, 2. The Hip Zipper in Nashville and 3. This two-mile stretch of highway upstate that my aunt always takes me to. I don’t know what the name of it is but I wouldn’t tell you if I did. It’s a secret and I always clean it the F out when I’m up there. Am I selfish? Yes and no. Cause maybe if I did know how to get there I would tell you since I’m terrible at lying.” Her personal style is somewhat off-the-wall as well. “Word on the street is that I’m quirky. The word ‘sexy’ has never been used but the word ‘cute’ has. I love turtlenecks and high-waisted pants. I guess if I had to sum it up, I would say, I am a “cool beatnik cat” who maybe isn’t as cool as she thinks she is.” She shares her clothes with her roommate Cleo Wade, a young artist. I wonder how that works. I’d beat the living daylight out of anyone who touches my shit! But not these kindhearted souls: “No rules, no fear, Nike, just do it,” laughs Molly. “We basically live in a commune of vintage.”

Today though I am doing the styling. Inspired by Christmas and Emotistyle’s “Funny Holiday Sweater Tip” episode, we look for Molly’s inner-reindeer and comb not only her own closet for festive, fire place-appropriate vintage pieces, but also raid Search & Destroy across the street for “Ugly Holiday Sweaters” – they’re only $18!! And I learn more about Molly’s funniness: she hates shredded carrots – “they are impossible to eat!”, believes in ghosts, once asked her dad for $50 to have a curse lifted off her soul and has some sort of sexual obsession with Nutella. “Shamikah and I just wrapped a scripted series that we created together and hopefully we sell it for eight million dollars. I would buy so much Nutella with a cool 8 mil. Then, I would get male models to have mud wrestling contests in a baby pool filled with Nutella. What’s awesome about that is that it isn’t mud, it’s f*cking NUTELLA and the winner is an edible male model. You’re welcome, ladies.”



December 27, 2012

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